Conservative Parents vs Liberal Teenagers

Dear Moms and Dads, specially who live in Asian countries like mine, hopefully after reading this... you can change the way you see things before you destroy our life, a.k.a your children life! Is that too much? No, from where I live right now, I see too many damaged teenagers using drugs, clubs filled of brokenhome kids, run-away teenagers who stay with their "run-away friends", even 10-year-old students drink and smoke, unnoticed by their parents! So, why in a conservative country like mine, these shit are happening?

Sometimes, parents seek for answers way out there. Like, blaming their schools environment, friends' family background, surroundings, different-race boyfriend/girlfriend, all of liberal-minded parents, their teachers, and popular hang-out spots. I think those aren't the answers. Sometimes, parents dont seek, they just guess and yell to their kids' friends. Wow, you are a pain in the ass. Then, grueling their angry children to stay at home and locked in their room as you yell, "This is all your own fault! You're grounded!" And, selfishly order your son/daughter to break up with his/her boyfriend just because their skin and ethnic group dont match with yours! What love has to do with that?

Dear parents, if right now you still nodding and agree with all things i've written about you.. No big surprise they are escaping from your house. Today, is a transition period, a phase when we move from ancient culture to the modern slash liberal culture. And teenagers are stuck between them and forced to stay conservative. There are a few lucky teenagers whom their parents are open-minded enough to understand this phase or at least willing to know. You cannot stop the cultural change. When will you completely realize you are the one who have to adapt with this change? Parents forget to do that because they see things influenced by their childhood memories and they have power to forbid their children to do what they really want to do.

1. PARTY. Sometimes parents forbid kids to go to their friends' parties because they think about party with their own creepy imagination. That is wrong, Moms and Dads. They just want to hang out with their friends. Talk and maybe a few drinks. But, set your rules, "You can go, IF you promise to be back here at midnight. No drunk, no drugs, no weeds! I trust you. Dont make me not." Believe me, teenagers who live in conservative countries would be so thankful to have you as their parents. And just wait until midnight, your kids will be back home smiling and looking at you like you're the greatest parents ever!
2. CLUBBING. I understand why you forbid them to go. Not only you, the clubs are mostly forbid them to get in! Most clubs which have sexy dancers, stripteasers, alcohol drinks, are restricted for people below 21. But, this is all teenagers all about, CURIOUSITY. To manage that curiousity, simply become a trendy parents, search on google what is clubbing all about (if you really clueless about it) and tell them, NOT IN A NEGATIVE WAY TO INFLUENCE your children to not going. Because you are creating a bad image for your-selves as an "oldfashioned-liars". Yes, they want to hear the good parts of clubbing. "You aren't allowed yet to go to clubs, there you can see sophisticated people, some maybe divorce husbands/wifes, or even fired workers looking for refreshment. You can do what you usually cannot on day light and outside the clubs. They are going because they are stressful and under pressure. But, to get in you have to pay big money and the security will check your ID. Remember, if you ever going there, ask someone mature and legal to accompany you." There, say that, and they will be nodding and re-think about going. But, if you have naughty kids who really want to go.. Just let them go. But wait outside of the clubs to take him back home when security kick his ass out.
3. SMOKING,DRINKING,DRUGS. Teenagers usually have known the risks of three forbidden things above. But sometimes they just want to try what it is like. Now, i think it is best for you to say negative things about them. Because there are no benefits of using those. But, teenagers whom i know, are smoking/drinking usually because of their parents problem. Maybe parents fight, cheating, or financial problem or else, and now we are talking about serious stuff. You cannot let them hear you fight! Here, you have to communicate with your children's friend. Yes, you do need their help. Because sometimes you just have to fight hard and dont let your son/daughter hear you screaming. It causes traumatic experience for them. I've heard my parents screaming, even crying, and i just SO SICK of them... i took the car and crashed in my bestfriend's house.
4. DATING OTHER RACE. This is a problems all my friends dealing with. Our parents aren't allowing us, especially girls, to date (even be friends with) guys with different ethnicity. We called them "racist parents" because it's true. Every human is just the same in God's eyes right? So who are you to judge you are better than them. But, sometimes you just can't. Here is the solution. Just let them date for a while. Don't you scream to their lovers or make your children breaking up! That is just inhumane and so selfish! Love for teenagers is EVERYTHING. They live for love, sing for love, walk for love, go to school for love... And then they have to face the fact how different they are. Maybe his family is so rude to you. Maybe his brother/sister is scary. Many things can make them BREAK UP THEM-SELVES. You cannot interrupt their love-lives. And when they finally realize this relationship will go no-where, come to them and cheer them. Please don't say, "I told you so!" They will hate you for weeks.

I will give you one example of my boyfriend's sister, say her name is Mel. Mel has the most religious, strict parents and you won't have any bad ideas about how they treat Mel as a daughter. Mel is so fed up with her parents because everyday they order her to be a good daughter, not to date any guys, not to go out and hang out, STUDY everyday... and those drive her crazy. She skipped school for two weeks, she went to mall with her friends and stealing things from stores, and she made love with a guy and pregnant. Can you imagine how this religious parents handle this kind of situation? You don't want to know? Now, she has the cutest little baby ever.. and she is still a 15-year-old girl who will celebrating her 16 next month.

I think every children love their parents just as much you love them. They know you are the one to thank because of their existance in this world. They realized you give them money to spend, to eat, to buy gadgets. But, you cannot take granted with forbid them to get their freedom. Specially to mess with their love-lifes, it just beyond your portion as parents. You can forbid them to do sex or to spoil their lovers but not to be in love. Being free is part of a human rights. Just see things on different way now, start learning about the modern world and stop being annoying parents. We love you, Moms and Dads!